Here’s an interesting interview with comic Steve Harvey, 53, who has a second book out about relationships called Straight Talk, No Chaser: How to Find, Keep, and Understand a Man. I’ve never paid much attention to Harvey but apparently he has a syndicated morning radio show and also holds relationship seminars. He put out another relationship book, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man in January, 2009. Some critics on Amazon say he’s arrogant and isn’t giving us any dating advice we haven’t heard before. Others say he’s on the money and that his advice is helpful.
Harvey has been married three times and has four children. He’s only been married to his third wife for about three and a half years. On CNN, the guy repeated the same old argument from When Harry Met Sally about why men and women can’t ever really be friends – men always want to sleep with attractive women no matter what.
All of my friends are men. I don’t have female friends. I’m incapable of that. I have a wife and I don’t really have female friends.
[To female interviewer] You’re an attractive woman. There’s some guy somewhere saying ‘we’re friends.’ That’s not true. He’s your friend only because you have made it absolutely clear that nothing else is happening except this friendship.
We remain your friends in hopes that someday they’ll be a crack in the door, a chink in the armor, and trust and believe – that guy you think is just your buddy, he will slide in that crack the moment he gets the opportunity. Cause we’re guys. 99.9% of us think that way.
You tell this to a woman and it just blows her back ‘No I have male friends.’ You have male friends because they know it can be nothing else right now. I tell you what, all your male friends just ask them in a friendly way ‘If I wanted to date you would you be ok with that?’ Watch the fireworks.
[From CNN interview, video above via ONTD]
In my experience this is true – for those few men like Harvey that think that way. (With their dicks.) In no way are all men like that. There are married guys and loyal committed boyfriends that would not consider sleeping with another woman and who don’t look at female friends sexually because they don’t want to cheat. Still I’ve been surprised by men who try and score despite the fact that you might assume they would be loyal to their wives/girlfriends or would respect that fact that another woman is married/in a relationship. It’s only a matter of time before those type of men find a “friend” who is willing to give it up.
This Harvey guy sounds like a lousy husband. At least he’s upfront about it and is giving his wife fair warning.
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